I hate you, I love you
by Shujitsu-san
Summary: During a world meeting, Spain gets bored. He decides to ditch and drags Netherlands along with him, who isn't all too happy about it. In fact, some of the things Spain begins to talk about really put him on edge. His frustration drives him to extreme measures to express his feelings. However, to Spain, what he does is something completely unexpected. Warning: Rape, angst, yaoi.


New story! Netherlands/Spain o uo I've been doing alot of roleplays with these two lately, so I decided I might as well write a fic about them. They really don't get enough love, you know. And such a sometimes cute-sometimes terrifying couple too!~ I hope you enjoy it! :3

And I will be updating the Spamano story too...eventually OTL

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.**

**Warning. RAPE SCENE DOWN BELOW. **I don't think it's that bad though. I didn't go into that much detail.

Ps. I often write just Netherlands instead of the Netherlands because it just sounds awkward to me. So if you find one, it wasn't a typo. Oh, and my ... always has four periods for some reason. I just like it that way. I don't know why. 'w'

* * *

I didn't really like him, but I didn't think he liked me either. At least, that's what I'd guessed from his actions and words towards me. I never even thought about being with him before. But when I really thought about it, he was a nice guy. He was pretty cute too, when he blushed, despite that frown he always had. It was kind of like Romano whenever he, um- well all the time, really. He'd act all annoyed and angry, but he'd actually be really happy inside!~ That's why I found it hard to figure out what the Netherlands was thinking. Sometimes, he would get really angry at me for something, and swear at me, but there was also this curious blush on his cheeks. Was it just because he was angry? Or because he was actually happy that I'd hugged him? Maybe I'd never find out. Or, maybe I had actually been wrong all along, to think he even liked me. But I didn't know that yet.

We were chatting after a world meeting, both bored out of our heads. Despite our constant fighting, it wasn't rare for me to ask him to hang out when I got bored. I don't think he hated it that much, since even if he sounded all grumpy when he replied, he always agreed to it.

Anyways, we were leaning against the wall, him smoking that shady pipe -I really wondered what was in there sometimes to make it smell so weird- and me just talking about random things.

"So, did you know America just had this election? I didn't even know until he told me at the meeting, ahahahaha... Well I barely know what's going on in my country, so I don't understand why everyone expects me to know about theirs! Anyways, that election was apparently almost a disaster! He said if one of the guys had won, not the one who won, the one who didn't win, some horrible stuff would have happened! I don't really remember what exactly, but it would be really bad! I wonder when the last time we had an election in my country was...I don't think it was as bad as America's though! I mean, at least we don't have that kind of people here! I think...well at least if we do, I've never seen any..." I kept talking, unaware of the irritated frown slowly settling on Netherlands's face. I had no idea that he wasn't listening either, I mean he was still standing there, right? So that obviously meant he wasn't mad at me or anything!~

"Would you shut up?" he interrupted after a moment, his eye twitching. I trailed off."I don't care about hearing about some idiot's election from the mouth of an even bigger idiot." His eyes darkened, glaring at me. If I had been aware of what he was thinking of doing later on that day, that would probably have been a warning. Too bad I wasn't.

"Ah, I'm sorry! Did you want to talk too?" I offered with a smile, wondering if that was the reason for his annoyance. Unfortunately not.

"No, I don't want to hear your annoying voice for the rest of the meeting." he shuffled his feet a bit, turning away. "I could be doing better things...I still have to work on those papers for my boss..." he brought his pipe to his mouth, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"Ahh..." I shuffled a bit, looking down at the ground. "Actually I think I might have some work to do too..." Suddenly, thinking of something, I grinned at him again. "Oh, I know! Want to work together?"

...

I was starting to feel a bit crestfallen, seeing him ignoring me like that, and not even looking at me.

"Did...Did you not hear me?" I offered after a moment, smiling hesitantly. "I said, want to work togethe-"

"No."

"Ehh, why not?" I was starting to frown as well. Why was he always refusing everything I asked of him, even if it was something this simple? We could get more work done together, and then we'd have saved time since I probably wouldn't have gotten much done on my own, and we could have spent more time together afterwards too!~

"Your presence pisses me off." I was slightly shocked when he stated that so calmly, even blowing some smoke at my face. "I'm going home."

What, already? Well he was already heading for the door...

"Huhh? But the meeting's not over yet!" I reminded him, hurrying after him. Again, he ignored me, letting out another huff. What was I doing wrong? I just wanted to be his friend...

"Don't just ditch me!" I pouted, hurrying to catch up to him. All I heard in reply was something mumbled under his breath, seemingly in Dutch. After a while of trying to figure out what in the world he was saying, which I never did by the way, I let out a sigh.

"Well if you hate me that much, I guess I'll just go back and hang out with Gilbert~" I shrugged, turning around. Oddly enough, he stopped be there.

"Hold on." I glanced back over my shoulder, trying to read his expression. What was he thinking? Well that constant frown on his forehead wasn't really helping me with trying to figure that out.

"Ya?" I turned around, blinking when he grabbed my wrist. What was he doing?

"I didn't say that...that I hated you..." I had to strain my ears to hear his mumbled words. After taking a minute to process his words, I blinked.

"Really? But you act like you do." I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice. I'd never expected that from him.  
"W-Well..." Whoa whoa whoa, now he was _blushing_? Was I dreaming or something? I stared at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. What was going on in that grass-haired head of his?

And suddenly I was against the wall.

"I'll just show you that I don't then." I stared at him in shock. What? What...What did he mean by that? And why had he pushed me against the wall...?

"Wait, what are you doing?" Now becoming kind of nervous, I laughed shakily. This had to be a joke. "If you're playing a game, that kinda hurt..." I smiled halfheartedly, gently pushing against his chest. He didn't budge.

"Shut up, or I'll really start to hate you..." he grumbled, calmly setting his pipe down on a table in the hall. Before I could ask what he meant, he pinned my wrists to the wall.

"H-Hey, this isn't funny...Let me go..." I said more firmly, squirming around in an attempt to get out of my position. A knee pressed _hard_ against my crotch stopped me.

"Shut up..." I heard him huff as I stiffened against his touch.

"T-That hurts..." I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing against his hands. P-Please, no...not this...Not with him...

I...I wasn't strong enough to push him away...But he was my ex-colony! I couldn't believe he'd become this strong, and was about to...

I felt him shift both my wrists to one of his, then reach down with his other to tug on something.

"Y-You can't possibly be...R-Right?" I tried to ask again, starting to panic. My pants were around my ankles.

"How many times do I have to say shut up before you understand me?" I flinched slightly as he shot me a glare, completely ignoring my question. I could feel a breeze between my legs. Looks like my boxers were gone too. I..I wasn't going to take this!

"I won't!" I glared back at him, lifting my knee in an attempt to force him away. Instead of what I was hoping would happen, he actually grabbed my leg, holding it up with his arm. This was ridiculous! Something like this couldn't happen like this, at this time, at this place!

"Stop it Netherlands, stop!" I kept shouting at him, but he continued ignoring me. Before I knew it, his own pants were down as well, and he had both of my legs pressed backwards towards the wall.

"Hold still...someone will hear you..." he warned, his eyes narrowed.

"I don't care!" I snapped, my eyes glowing with anger and fear. "I like you, but not like this, Netherlands! This is going too fa-"

"I hate you." I didn't even have time to finish my sentence before he forced his way into me.

I couldn't even describe that feeling. It was so sudden, so painful. I unwillingly let out a gasp, unable to hold back the pained cry. I even screamed, I think, in between choking on the air every time he forced his way into me. It felt like my insides were being ripped open, breaking my bones. I was pretty sure I was bleeding; at least, I'd be really surprised if I wasn't.

He put a hand over my mouth.

"Stay quiet, you idiot..." Furious, taken off guard, and in serious pain, the only thing I could think to do was bite his hand. So I did. ...He didn't like that. He quickly pulled his hand back, then growled.

"You little..." Despite seeing his hand raised, I didn't flinch. Instead, the angry glint in my eyes began to shine brighter. My vision was slightly blurry too. I...I didn't want to cry, to seem so weak, but I couldn't help the tears flooding my eyes, threatening to overflow at any moment.

Seeing my eyes, he hesitated. Instead of hitting me, I felt my hair being tugged upwards, forcing me to look at him.

"One more move like that..."

...

I'd had enough of his threats. And so I stayed quiet, though my anger burned just as fiercely as before, if not stronger. Even driven to a state as pathetic as this, I wouldn't let him win.

Just then, I felt the tug on my hair disappear. Instead, it moved itself to my waist, holding me still. Freezing me in place. So that I couldn't move, as he...

As he continued.

Harder.

More...painful.

_Much_ more painful.

I didn't know how much of this I could take.

I couldn't hold my voice in anymore. Against my will, against my hatred for what he was doing to me, I...my voice began to betray me.

I couldn't hold in the strangled whimpers, mixed with sobs, rising from my throat. The pathetic sounds I was making probably only made him feel more contempt at this pathetic side he was seeing of me. That he had managed to drag out of me.

Through my slowly darkening vision, through the pain coursing through my body, shooting straight up to my spine with every thrust, I could barely feel his hands on my hips anymore, those hands that never relaxed their grip on me. It was like trying to undo a knot. The harder you tug, the tighter it gets.

The edges of my vision began to fade.

"How's that feel, you stupid Spaniard?" I faintly heard the words being murmured into my ear, accompanied by what I could have sworn was a smirk on his face. But what would I know. Pain had taken a hold of my body.

Instead of becoming numb, as I was hoping for, I only began to ache and hurt more. Like I was repeatedly being stabbed, and it never stopped. It only came back, stronger every time. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from screaming.

"Maybe I should just stay like this all day..." I felt a soft nip against my neck, and a break in the movements in my lower regions.

I wasn't going to let him get away so easily.

"D-Don't mark me...bastard..." I managed to shoot him another glare, though I doubt it was very convincing. The other nation merely smirked. A moment later, I felt teeth against my neck, burying themselves into my skin, piercing the soft tissue. Burning their mark there, for at least a few days.

I clamped my mouth shut, trying to ignore this new pain.

I tried to move closer to the wall, away from this torturous activity the crazed sadist was enjoying.

After wetness began dripping down my neck, he stopped. I had no doubts as to why it was wet, nor why red was staining my shirt collar.

Unfortunately for me, the break to my sanity didn't last long. He set his hips back to work right away, as if he was set on breaking me into pieces.

Maybe he really was.

"S-Stop...please..." I managed to gasp out, my throat raw. I..I couldn't take much more of this.

Thankfully, at that moment, something warm leaked into me. Something other than blood.

Well, _thankfully_. Because it meant he would stop.

"Hmm...I want to mess with you some more..." I shuddered in disgust upon hearing his words.

"Ugh..." I could only groan in response. My vision was really getting blurry...

After passing a swift tongue over my neck, the painful sensation in my lower back suddenly gave way to a dull ache, a new kind of pain.

"Maybe I'll come back to you later. That was pretty...relieving." You could hear the smirk in his voice.

I couldn't believe him when I heard those words. But I was too tired and in too much pain to argue. My body wouldn't listen to me either.

As soon as he let me go, I slumped to the ground, without enough energy to even stand up. A small distance from my head, I heard the sound of metal clanking, like someone was tying a belt.

"By the way, don't tell anyone who did this to you." Was...was he fucking kidding? I would have retorted that I'd tell everyone he knew, to drive them away from him, but my mouth wouldn't move. My eyes wouldn't open either. ...I was so tired...

"Hey, did you hear me?"

Shut up...Leave me alone...

I heard a sigh, then footsteps leading away.

My consciousness fading away, all I could hear was a faint, "Idiot...I hate you..." being grumbled. Then the world faded to black.

xXXx

I opened my eyes slightly, surprised to see empty halls around me. What was I doing here...? Where was I...? Oh, right, the world meeting. But if I remember, it wasn't held in the hallway!~ Was it over already? Oh wait, I skipped the meeting...and hung out with...Netherlands...

A frown settled on my face.

Right, he had just...for no reason. At least, none I understood. I think he said something about showing me he didn't hate me...but why would he do something like that to show he didn't hate me? Didn't the opposite sound more reasonable? I really didn't know what he was thinking...and right now, I didn't want to.

Leaving me in the hall like this...so kind of him. I grunted as I slowly pushed myself to my feet, only pausing to pick up my clothes he had discarded. I had to freeze midway, eyes squeezed shut. That didn't feel good. At all. I hesitantly reached behind myself, rubbing my lower back gingerly. He'd fucked me so roughly, heartlessly...like I was just a punchbag for him. Oh ya, hadn't he said something else? Something about...being back... But he wouldn't really come back again, would he?

No, Netherlands definitely wouldn't go through the effort of finding me again, after knowing I was still furious with him for ...this. But I didn't actually put up much of a fight. At least, I had tried to, but he probably saw it as hesitant.

Truthfully, I was. I didn't want to hurt him, even as he pushed me to the wall. He was my friend! Why would I hurt a friend?

...Maybe I really wasn't his friend. He probably really did hate me. Not much I could do about it, I guess. It was hard enough thinking with a pounding headache and throbbing pain in my lower back.

The most I could do right now, would be going home...I began heading for the main entrance, trudging back to my empty house. Right now, even through the haze in my mind, all I could think of was him...and how I never wanted to see him again.

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WOW. Depressing chapter. I was gonna make this a fluffy story, but I changed my mind. This will be a threeshot, I think - the third chapter will be smut-tastic. And kinda fluffy. But depressing too. If this gets enough response, I'll write a fluffier version of their relationship as well later. I already have alot of the chapters planned out.

Anyways, fav & review? 'w'


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